On Random Acts of Kindness

Over the holiday season this year I spent some time with one of my best friends. We've known each other for 25 years, and he is one of the kindest, happiest, most compassionate people I know (I often joke that I would like to be more like him when I grow up!)
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Something I didn't know until recently is that he's been trying to do more RAKs - Random Acts of Kindness. Part of the way he does this means he doesn't brag about it, so he wouldn't tell me exactly what he's been doing, but I managed to get some things out of him over coffee. He's done things like donate food to the local food bank, buy items for a children's hospice, and pay for a drink for the person behind him in the coffee shop. It got me thinking about RAKs in general, and how many of them require energy and money that so many people just don't have. This blog post is going to think about kindness in general, and also has some ideas for low-impact activities that make a difference.

Why be kind?
Well, apart from the obvious (because it's the right thing to do in most circumstances!), it turns out that being altruistic has interesting effects on the body and mind. Helping others can:

• Reduce how stressed you feel
• Improve your emotional well-being
• Reduce your sense of isolation
• Improve physical health
• Help you reflect on your own situation

For the remainder of this blog, I'm making the assumption that we could all do with being a little bit kinder and more gentle with both ourselves and with others. Some of the suggestions might sound trite but ultimately it's the small things that we do day-to-day that make up a life, and I'm assuming that a life of small positive things is better than one that is neutral, or one in which you do lots of small negative things - imagine what that would be like!
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Isn't altruism ultimately self-serving?
That's certainly an idea that has been suggested in the past. Certain psychological theories would say that, because helping others feels good, you do it to feel better and not because you want to genuinely help others. That might be true, but I would also like to believe that altruism can be completely selfless (see Daniel Batson's work on empathy and altruism for more details). And in any case, if it's helping another person and also helping you, surely it's win-win!

The interaction between RAKs and health
So on the one hand, we're being told that Random Acts of Kindness can improve our health and well-being and also improve the lives of those around us. But what about when we have a chronic health condition, or we don't have the money to donate to good causes or buy people coffee? Should we just give up on the idea?
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I don't think we should. Some of the kindest, most compassionate people I know are those who don't have £10 to give to a stranger, who don't have the energy to walk to the local food bank, who still manage to act in ways that uphold the principles of RAK.

There are lots of things that you can do if you don't have much energy, or you're lacking in time, or you don't have the money to make grand gestures (or even small gestures). So much of our social lives revolve around money, or what we can physically do for another person, and whilst that can be important it's also important to remember that just because you can't do those things doesn't mean you can't help people. You are valid, and so are the things you do for yourself and for others.
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Things to do if you're lacking in time/money/energy for whatever reason: 

• Let people know that you appreciate them, or that you love what they do - social media can be great for this. If you're on Twitter, pick three people you follow and let them know why. It might be because they're a great artist, or a fab musician, or just because you think they make the world a better place. You'll probably really brighten their day, and inspire them to keep doing the things that made you love them in the first place.
• Write a thank you card and post it - a bit more energy required for this one than sending a Tweet, but loads of people really appreciate hand-written messages because they can stick them up in their house to look at when they're having a bad day. You could pick a friend or family member, or a teacher who made a difference to your life when you were younger.
• If you also need something look at when you're having a bad day, how about writing some post-it notes for yourself. You can include things that you like about yourself, or the people that you live with. Put them somewhere that you'll see them regularly, to give you a bit of a boost when you need it.
• Putting spare change in vending machines or in parking machines - this is a particularly good one if you have a bit of spare change and you don't want to interact with anyone socially. You can still do a nice thing for someone without having to engage them in conversation.
• Be kinder to yourself - if you're low on energy or time, reminding yourself to drink more water, eat well and go to sleep at a reasonable time can be the kindest things that you can do for yourself. It also gives you a better chance to look after others - you can't drink from an empty cup.
• Donate blood - another good thing that you can do if you have more energy and are in a group that is able to donate, is to give blood. You get a cup of tea and a biscuit, and some areas even send a text to let you know where your blood goes!
• Make someone laugh - this can be quite simple, even when you don't feel like laughing yourself. The good thing is that laughter is contagious, so it might even make you feel better if you're struggling! 

Are there any other things that you can think of to do that don't require too much time and energy? Let me know in the comments!

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